Ndikukhala kumbuyo kwa desiki yanga; ndi kale anayi masana ndipo ndatsala pang'ono kuchita tsikulo - ola limodzi lokha kuti ndipite. Lero lapita mwangwiro ndipo ndikutsimikiza ndithu kuti izi zidzakhala mapeto a tsiku lopanda nkhawa. Kukhala woyang'anira zochitika nthawi zina kungakhale kopanikiza kwambiri - kuthana ndi makasitomala tsiku lonse, tsatanetsatane uliwonse wochepa wofunikira kukonzedwa, ndi kupambana kapena kulephera kwa chochitika chilichonse chogona pamapewa anu. Koma lerolino zinaoneka kuti zapita mosavuta.
Mapeto osayembekezereka
Foni ikulira - mwinamwake kasitomala wotsiriza kukhala akuyitanitsa tsikulo. "Tiyeni tipange izi kukhala mapeto angwiro a tsiku pomutsimikizira kuti agule ntchito zathu," ndikuganiza. Ndimatenga foni ndikuyankha ndi mawu aubwenzi, koma zonse zomwe ndikumva ndi munthu akufuula ndi kudandaula. Iye sakusangalala ndipo akutiimba mlandu chifukwa cha chinthu chimene chinachitika pa chochitika chakale.
Ndimayesetsa kukhala wodekha monga momwe ndingathere, koma ndimamva malingaliro anga akudzutsa mkati mwanga. Iye samandipatsa ngakhale mpata wolankhula, zomwe zimandikwiyitsa kwambiri. Ndikugwira ntchito kwambiri ndipo ndikufuna kuyamba kufuula komanso. Pomaliza, kasitomala amapachika.
Malingaliro okwiya nthawi yomweyo amayamba kubwera, "Zimenezo zinalidi zochuluka kwambiri, kodi munthu angachite bwanji zoipa chonchi? Analibe makhalidwe ngakhale pang'ono. Kodi ankaganiza kuti anali ndani? Kodi akanalankhula bwanji nane choncho? Kumbi ndamuchitiranji?"
Ndikumva chisokonezo chachikulu, zimakhala ngati ndikuphika mkati. Kupita kunyumba, sindingathe ngakhale kuganiza za china chilichonse. Ndimapitiriza kuganizira zimene kasitomala ameneyo anachita, mmene anawonongera tsiku langa. "Izi basi si bwino," ndimadziuza ndekha. Ndinkafuna kukhala ndi mapeto aakulu a tsiku labwino, koma pano ndikumva mkwiyo ndi kukwiya kuphika mkati mwanga.
Ndikukhumudwa kwambiri. Kunyumba, ndimagona pansi pabedi langa ndikupemphera kuti, "Wokondedwa Mulungu, mwaona zomwe zachitika lero. Chonde ndithandizeni kuti ndigonjetse mkwiyo umenewo, ndi malingaliro onsewa omwe amabwera kudzabwezera. Chonde ndithandizeni kukhala ndi mpumulo ndi mtendere mumtima mwanga."
"Ndipo ndinafa!"
Tsiku lotsatira m'mawa ndabwerera kuntchito kuseri kwa desiki langa. Makasitomala omwe anaimbira foni dzulo amabwera akuyenda mu nthawi ino, akufuula ndi kudandaula, ndipo nthawi yomweyo ndikumva mkwiyo kuyamba kuphika mkati mwanga. Sindingalole kuti izi zikhale ngati zinali dzulo! Choncho ndimayamba kupemphera mumtima mwanga kuti, "Wokondedwa Yesu, ndithandizeni tsopano! Ino ndi nthawi, tsopano muyenera kundithandizadi kukhala wodekha ndi kutumikira kasitomala ameneyu mosangalala."
Ndikukumbutsidwa za mawu ochokera m'buku lonena za moyo wa mkazi wokhulupirika. "Ndipo ndinafa!" Umu ndi mmene ananenera. Iye anafotokoza kuti zinakhala vumbulutso laumwini kwa iye kuti pakati pa mikhalidwe yake monga mkazi ndi mayi, yankho lingafotokozedwe mwachidule m'mawu amodzi osavuta awa: "Ndipo ndinafa!" M'malo monyamula madandaulo, kusakhutira, kudzimvera chisoni, ndi zina zotero, munthu akhoza kunena kuti Ayi ku malingaliro awa ndi kufa kwa zonse.
Ndipo kenako ndimaganiza kuti, "Inde! Ndilo yankho, ndilo thandizo limene ndikufunikira kupempha, ndilo limene ndiyenera kuchita!" Ndiyenera kufa ndekha; Ndiyenera kukana malingaliro awa a mkwiyo ndi kunyada pamene abwera osati kuwapatsa malo kuti akule, kuti athe kufadi. Kenaka, m'malo mongoyesera kusunga malingaliro anga, ndikhoza kukhala ndi mpumulo, ndipo moyo wa Khristu ukhoza kuwonedwa mwa ine. (2 Akorinto 4:10.)
Ine ndikuganiza za Yesu, "Iye sanachite tchimo, ndipo sanalankhulepo m'njira zotanthauza kunyenga. Pamene ananyozedwa, sanayankhe mwamwano. Pamene anavutika, sanawopseze kubwezera. M'malomwake, anadzipereka kwa amene amaweruza mwachilungamo." 1 Petro 2:22-23.
Ndimapanga chosankha changa. Ndimasankha kusagonja ku lingaliro limenelo la kufuna kuyankha kasitomala mwaukali. M'malo mwake, ndimasankha kukhala waubwenzi ndi wokoma mtima kwa iye, ndiyeno ndikumuuza kuti ndidzachita zonse zomwe ndingathe kuti ndithetse nkhaniyi. Amatembenuka n'kuchoka.
Palibe wina amene angakhudze chimwemwe changa
Malinga ndi lingaliro langa, zikuwoneka ngati zopanda chilungamo kuti kasitomala uyu akundifuula. Koma kaya zifukwa zake zikhale zotani, mkhalidwewu unali mwayi chabe kuti ndife ku zonse zomwe ndinamva kuti ndikubwera mkati mwanga - mkwiyo wanga, kunyada kwanga, chikhumbo changa chofuula.
Ndikhoza kumva kukhumudwa kubwera mwa ine nthawi iliyonse makasitomala atakwiya, koma palibe chifukwa choti ndichite mofanana ndi iwo. Sindiyenera kulola tsiku langa lonse kukhala loipa chifukwa cha zomwe wina anandichitira kapena zomwe sanandichitire. Zochita ndi malingaliro a ena siziyenera kundichititsa chisoni ndi kundikhumudwitsa. Ndiyenera kukhulupiriradi zimene zalembedwa pa Aroma 8:28, kuti "zinthu zonse zigwirira ntchito pamodzi zabwino kwa iwo okonda Mulungu".
"Ine ndine mbuye wa choikidwiratu changa: Ndine kapitawo wa moyo wanga." Ichi ndi chiganizo chochokera ku ndakatulo ya William Ernest Henley, Invictus, yomwe Nelson Mandela nthawi zambiri amawerenga pamene anali m'ndende. Palibe wina aliyense amene angakhudze chimwemwe changa. Ineyo ndimasankha zimene ndimalola mumtima mwanga. Ine ndekha ndikusankha ngati tsiku langa lawonongeka kapena ngati ndi tsiku labwino, chifukwa vuto si mwa ena; vuto liri mu chikhalidwe changa chaumunthu chochimwa.
Choncho, ndimasankha kuganizira zomwe zimachokera ku chikhalidwe changa chochimwa; chimwemwe changa chimadalira ine ndekha. Ndimasankha kugwiritsa ntchito mwayi wokhala wosangalala kwambiri, mosasamala kanthu za momwe anthu ozungulira ine alili. Ndimasankha kutumikira makasitomala anga mwaubwenzi, mosasamala kanthu za momwe amachitira. Ndimasankha kukhala kuwala kwa anthu ozungulira ine. Ndimasankha chimwemwe, ndipo ndimasankha chimwemwe m'njira yanga.
Kasitomala angabwerenso kapena kuitananso. Sindingathe kusintha mkwiyo wake kapena maganizo a makasitomala ena alionse, koma ndikulamulira zochita zanga . Ndikhoza kukhala wabwino kwa iwo mosasamala kanthu za zimene amanena ndi kuchita. Vuto liri mkati mwanga, m' chibadwa changa chaumunthu, ndipo ndidzagonjetsa zonse zomwe zimachokera ku izo. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri si mayesero kapena mikhalidwe yomwe imabwera njira yanga, koma kuti ndimagwiritsa ntchito kuti ndipeze zipatso zambiri za Mzimu, monga kuleza mtima, kukoma mtima ndi chikondi. Ndicho kulakalaka kwanga ndi cholinga changa. Ndipo ndidzapita kwa izo ndi mtima wanga wonse.
