Anthu amakonda kudziwa ndi kugawana mphekesera ndi zinsinsi. Nthawi zambiri samaganiza ngati zili zoona kapena ayi. Amawonjezera tsatanetsatane wina, ndi bodza pano ndi apo kuti athe kupeza yankho loyenera. Iwo amakhala ofotokoza nkhani za mtundu woipitsitsa. Amafuna kudziwa za ndewu ndikupereka maganizo awo.
"Komanso chombo ndi chachikulu kwambiri, ndipo chimakankhidwa ndi mphepo yamphamvu. Koma chiwongolero chaching'ono kwambiri chimalamulira chombo chachikulu chimenecho, kuchipanga kupita kulikonse kumene woyendetsa ndegeyo akufuna. N'chimodzimodzinso ndi lilime. Ndi mbali yaing'ono ya thupi, koma imadzitama ndi zinthu zazikulu. Moto waukulu wa nkhalango ungayambitsidwe ndi lawi laling'ono chabe." Yakobo 3:4-5 (NCV).
Kunyoza ena ndi miseche: Uthenga umene umafalikira ngati khansa
Anthu ambiri amaona kuba, mkwiyo ndi nsanje ngati machimo, koma nthawi zambiri saganiza kuti miseche ndi kunyoza ena ndi tchimonso.
"Pewani kulankhula zopanda pake, zopusa zomwe zimangotsogolera ku khalidwe lopanda umulungu kwambiri. Nkhani yamtunduwu imafalikira ngati khansa." 2 Timoteyo 2:16-17 (NLT). Kunyoza ena akhoza kubwera kwa ife kotero mwachibadwa. Kukambirana pang'ono kungakhale mwayi wodandaula kapena kulankhula zoipa za munthu wina. Mwinamwake tili ndi chinachake chotsutsana ndi munthu wina ndipo mwachinsinsi tikufuna kuti ena agawane lingaliro lomwelo, kuwonjezera malingaliro athu kuti enawo avomereze, "O, eya, iye ali wofanana kwambiri ndi izi," kapena "Ndizoopsa kwambiri momwe iye amachoka pamenepo." Mwa kubwerera m'mbuyo, timalimbikitsa enanso kunyalanyaza.
Zotsatira za kunyoza ena ndizoopsa: Kugawanika, kumenyana, kukayikira. Satana amakonda magaŵano. Amakonda mwayi uliwonse wophwanya chiyanjano ndi umodzi. N'zochititsa mantha zimene miseche ndi kunyoza ena zingagwetse. "Miseche imalekanitsa mabwenzi abwino kwambiri." —Miyambo 16:28 (NLT).
Zotsatira za kunyoza ena zimakhala kwa nthawi yaitali. M'kupita kwa nthawi, nkhani yaing'ono ikhoza kukhala yaikulu yomwe imapanga khoma pakati pa abwenzi.
Kukula m'chikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake
"Khalani okoma mtima ndi achikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake, ndipo mukhululukirane monga Mulungu anakukhululukirani mwa Khristu." Aefeso 4:32 (NCV).
Kuti timasulidwe ku miseche ndi kubwerera m'mbuyo, choyamba tifunikira kukula m'chikondi. Kodi mawu athu akumangirira zomangira za chikondi, kapena akuwagwetsa?
Zalembedwa pa Mateyu 12:34 (GNT): "Pakuti pakamwa pamalankhula zimene mtima wadzaza." Ngati pakamwa pathu pali kufulumira kulankhula zoipa za enawo, kodi zimenezi zikutiuzanji ponena za mitima yathu? Kodi tili ndi chikondi chochuluka motani ngati tifulumira kulankhula zoipa ponena za ena kumbuyo kwawo?
Pamene ife kwenikweni kukonda ena, n'zosatheka basi backbite iwo. Madandaulo onse otsutsana nawo amatha. Chikondi chalembedwa za pa 1 Akorinto 13:4-7 (NCV): "Chikondi n'choleza mtima ndiponso n'chokoma mtima. Chikondi sichichita nsanje, sichidzitama, ndipo sichinyadira. Chikondi sichiri chamwano, sichiri chadyera, ndipo sichimakwiyira ena. Chikondi sichiwerengera zolakwa zimene zachitika. Chikondi sichisangalala ndi zoipa koma chimasangalala ndi choonadi. Chikondi chimavomereza moleza mtima zinthu zonse. Nthawi zonse amakhulupirira, nthawi zonse amayembekezera, ndipo nthawi zonse amakhalabe olimba." Ngati umenewu ndi mtundu wa chikondi chimene tili nacho kwa anthu otizungulira, tikanaona ngakhale lingaliro laling'ono kwambiri la kulankhula zoipa ponena za iwo kukhala lowopsya!
Tiyenera kupemphera kwa Mulungu kuti atithandize kuti tikule m'chikondi ndi kusonyeza ubwino ndi kukoma mtima kwa ena. Ngati tikuganiza kuti wina akuchita zinthu zolakwika, tingapempherere munthuyo ndipo Mulungu adzatisonyeza mmene tingathandizire. Mwinamwake tingapite kwa munthuyo mumzimu wachikondi ndi kuwapempha chowonadi ponena za nkhaniyo, m'malo mwa kuwabwezera. N'zosatheka pafupifupi kusunga maganizo oipa pa munthu amene tikumupempherera, kapena kumubwezera kapena kumudyera miseche. Tiyenera kuganizira kwambiri zabwino ndi kukhala okangalika popempherera enawo. Mwa kugawana chikondi chimenechi, tingathandize kubweretsa mtendere ndi mpumulo.
Kodi mwamvapo mphekesera kapena nkhani yonena za munthu wina? Basi asiyeni afe nanu! "Popanda nkhuni, moto udzazimitsa, ndipo popanda miseche, kukangana kudzatha." Miyambo 26:20 (NCV). Ngakhale kulola mphekeserayo kuyenda m'malingaliro athu ndiko sitepe loyamba panjira yopita ku kugawanika ndi kukangana. Mabodza amafalikira ngati moto wa m'tchire.
Chisankho cholimba chomaliza ndi kunyoza ena ndi miseche
Kodi tiyenera kuchitanji ngati ena otizinga ayamba miseche kapena kubwezera? Mwina tili m'kukambirana kumene anthu akulankhula zoipa za munthu wina. "Hei, kodi munamva za zimene anachita?"
Ngati sitikuchitapo kanthu, ndife olakwa mofanana ndi amene anabweretsa. Sitingathe kutenga nawo mbali pa miseche ndi kunyoza ena kuti tikhale "wochezeka". Kodi ndife ofunitsitsa kulimbana ndi zimenezi? Kodi tikufuna kumaliza ndi kunyoza ena?
Nthawi zambiri anthu amadziteteza ponena kuti zimene akunena ndi zoona. Ichi sichiri chodzikhululukira! "Mukaweruza munthu wina, mulibe chodzikhululukira. Mukaweruza munthu wina, mukudziweruza nokha. Mumachita zinthu zomwezo zimene mumaimba mlandu ena chifukwa chochita." Aroma 2:1 (NIRV). Ngakhale ngati liwu lililonse linali loona, tiyenera kukumbukira kuti kubwerera m'mbuyo, kulankhula moipa za munthu wina kumbuyo kwake, mwa iko kokha kuli koipa! Ngati timvetsera ku Kunyoza ena, ifenso tili ndi mlandu.
Dalitsani ndi kulemekezana
"Musanene chilichonse chimene chingapweteke [munthu wina]. M'malo mwake, lankhulani zabwino zokha kuti mupereke thandizo kulikonse kumene kuli kofunika. Mwanjira imeneyo, zimene mukunena zidzathandiza amene akukumvani." Aefeso 4:29 (GW).
Pakamwa pathu angagwiritsidwe ntchito kuchita zabwino zambiri podalitsa ndi kulimbikitsa ena, kapena zoipa zambiri ndi zowonongeka polankhula zoipa za ena. "M'kamwa mwake mumatuluka dalitso ndi kutukwana." Yakobo 3:10 (BBE).
Pamene tiyamba kulimbana ndi miseche ndi kubwerera m'mbuyo m'moyo wathu, tingakhale chitsanzo kwa ena. Ndipo anthu adzazindikira kuti miseche kapena kubwerera m'mbuyo nzolakwika kotheratu.
Tiyenera kusamala nthawi zonse kuti timange mgwirizano ndi mawu athu, m'malo mougwetsa. "Ngati timakonda ena, timakhala m'kuunika, choncho palibe chilichonse mwa ife chimene chingachititse wina kuchimwa." 1 Yohane 2:10 (GNT).