Mantha nthawi zonse akhala mdani wanga wamkulu. Kwa nthaŵi yambiri ya moyo wanga, nthaŵi zonse ndinkaganiza kuti zoipa kwambiri zidzandichitikira.
"Ndinali kapolo wa mantha"
Pamene ndinali ndi zaka 13, mwadzidzidzi ananditengera kuchipatala kukachitidwa opaleshoni. Madokotala anapeza chithokomiro m'chigaza changa chomwe chinali kukanikiza ubongo wanga. Kunali kumeneko moyo wanga wonse ndipo anandiuza kuti chinali chozizwitsa kuti ubongo wanga sunawonongeke ndipo sindinafa ziwalo ndili mwana. Opaleshoni inali yopambana kwathunthu ndipo ndinabwerera ku moyo wabwinobwino wachinyamata, pambuyo pa nthawi yochira. Koma patapita kanthawi, ndinayamba kuganiza kuti chozizwitsa changa chingatha posachedwapa, ndipo ndinalibe tsogolo lililonse loyembekezera.
Kuganiza kopanda chiyembekezo kumeneku kunayambitsa mantha ena - kuopa kutaya ntchito yanga, kuopa kusakhala ndi ndalama zokwanira, kuopa kuchita ngozi ya galimoto, ndi mantha ozungulira banja langa ndi anzanga. Chilichonse chimene ndinkaona kuti sindingathe kulamulira chinandipatsa nkhawa zambiri. Kwa zaka zambiri mantha ameneŵa, ngakhale ngati anali openga kotheratu kapena osatheka kwenikweni, anali enieni kwa ine. Nthawi zambiri anali amphamvu kwambiri, ndi kulamulira malingaliro anga ndi zochita zanga.
Patapita nthawi, ndinazindikira kuti mantha onsewa anali kundilamulira kwambiri ndipo ankangondipangitsa kukhala wosasangalala kwambiri. Pamene ndinayamba kuganizira zifukwa zimene ndinkachitira zinthu zina m'mikhalidwe ina, ndinazindikira kuti nthawi zambiri mantha anga ankandichititsa kunena kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zimakhumudwitsa anthu ena. Ndinamva ngati kuti ndinali kapolo wa mantha, ndipo ndinalidi ndi kulakalaka kukhala womasuka!
Mantha ndi mzimu
M'Baibulo limati, "Mulungu sanatipatse mzimu wa mantha, koma wa mphamvu ndi chikondi ndi maganizo abwino." 2 Timoteyo 1:7. Ndinawerenga vesi limeneli ndipo ndinaganiza kuti ndikhulupirire ndendende monga momwe linalembedwera. Mantha amenewo, ngakhale kuti anali enieni kwa ine, sanali ochokera kwa Mulungu. Ndinazindikira kuti mantha ndi mzimu - ndi "mdani" yemwe sali mbali ya ine koma ndi chinthu chomwe ndingathe kulimbana nawo. (Aefeso 6:12.) Mzimu umene Mulungu amandipatsa ndi wodzaza ndi mphamvu - mphamvu yogonjetsa mzimu umenewo wa mantha, kuti uthe kuloŵedwa m'malo ndi chikondi, kuyamikira ndi chiyembekezo. Ndinaganiza kuti sindidzalolanso kulamulira moyo wanga.
Ndi chigamulochi, ndinalimbana ndi malingaliro amenewa. Ndinafufuza malingaliro anga mu mkhalidwe uliwonse, ndinayang'ana kuti ndione ngati panali mantha kumeneko, ndipo ndinapemphera kwa Mulungu kuti Iye andipatse mzimu umenewo wa mphamvu, chikondi, ndi maganizo abwino. M'kupita kwa nthaŵi, ndinatenga mbali iliyonse ya mantha ndi kugwira nayo ntchito. Nthaŵi zonse pamene malingaliro amenewo anabwera, ndinapempha Mulungu kuti andithandize kuwagonjetsa.
Tsopano, ndinganene kuti ndagonjetsadi mantha pamlingo waukulu! Ndimatha kuona mantha kwambiri akabwera, kenako ndimatha kupemphera mwamsanga n'kupempha Mulungu kuti andithandize kuthana nawo. Mantha, omwe kale anali chimphona chomwe ndinkaganiza kuti sichingathe kugonjetsa, akhala mdani yemwe tsopano ndikudziwa kumenyana. Nthawi zina ndimamvabe mantha amphamvu amenewa, koma ndakumana nawo kuti ndikafuula kwa Mulungu, Iye amabwera kumbali yanga ndi kundipatsa mphamvu zomwe ndikufunikira kuti ndigonjetse.
Ndipo ndaona zozizwitsa zambiri m'moyo wanga. Kupanda chiyembekezo kwaloŵedwa m'malo ndi "malingaliro a mtsogolo mwa chiyembekezo," amene ali malingaliro a Mulungu kwa ine. (Yeremiya 29:11.) Ndaphunzira kuika moyo wanga m'manja Mwake kwathunthu ndikukhulupirira kuti Iye amatumiza zonse zabwino kwambiri.
Mavesi amene anali zida kwa ine
Mawu a Mulungu ali ndendende ndi zomwe ndikufuna, ndipo kumeneko ndinapezanso "zida" zogonjetsa pamene ndinayesedwa kuti ndipereke malingaliro awa a mantha. Pano pali mndandanda wa mavesi amene anandithandiza kwambiri:
"Mulungu sanatipatse mzimu wa mantha, koma wa mphamvu ndi chikondi ndi wa maganizo abwino." 2 Timoteyo 1:7.
"Pakuti ndikudziwa maganizo amene ndimaganizira kwa inu, watero Yehova, maganizo a mtendere osati oipa, kuti akupatseni tsogolo ndi chiyembekezo. Pamenepo mudzaitana pa Ine ndi kupita kukapemphera kwa Ine, ndipo ndidzakumvetserani. Ndipo mudzandifunafuna ndi kundipeza, mukandifunafuna ndi mtima wanu wonse." Yeremiya 29:11-13.
"Palibe mantha m'chikondi; chikondi changwiro chimathamangitsa mantha onse. Choncho pamenepo, chikondi sichinapangidwe kukhala changwiro mwa aliyense woopa, chifukwa mantha ali ndi chochita ndi chilango." 1 Yohane 4:18.
"Musadandaule ndi chilichonse, koma pempherani ndi kupempha Mulungu zonse zimene mukufuna, nthawi zonse muziyamikira." Afilipi 4:6.
"Anandipulumutsa [kundipulumutsa] kwa adani anga amphamvu komanso kwa onse omwe amandida - anali amphamvu kwambiri kwa ine. Pamene ndinali m'mavuto, iwo anandiukira, koma Ambuye ananditeteza. Anandithandiza kutuluka pangozi; anandipulumutsa chifukwa anakondwera nane." Salmo 18:17-19.
"Akandiitana, ndidzawayankha; pamene ali m'mavuto, ndidzakhala nawo. Ndidzawapulumutsa ndi kuwalemekeza. Ndidzawapatsa mphoto ndi moyo wautali; Ndidzawapulumutsa." Salmo 91:15-16.
"Pamene Yesu anali kukhala padziko lapansi, anapemphera kwa Mulungu ndi kupempha Mulungu kuti amuthandize. Iye anapemphera ndi kulira kwakukulu ndi misozi kwa Iye amene akanam'pulumutsa ku imfa, ndipo pemphero lake linamveka chifukwa chokhulupirira Mulungu." Ahebri 5:7.
"Choncho musataye chidaliro chimenechi mwa Ambuye. Kumbukirani mphoto yaikulu imene ikubweretserani!" Ahebri 10:35.
